Excerpt form Manuscript – Julian’s Voice


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Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

“Chris, don’t you dare hang up on me!  Are you there?  Damn it, he hung up…”

“No, I’m still here.”

“What are you going to do?  Are you going to tell your mom?”  She asked.

“Of course not.  She will freak.”

“But, how are you going to hide it?  Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to cut where anyone can see…especially not on your arms.”

“I know, I’ll just wear sweatshirts to school.”  Chris replied.

“But, Chris…it’s over a hundred degrees all week.  That will be obvious.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Why did you do it?”  Why did you start cutting again?  It’s been almost a year that you’ve been clean.”

“I don’t know…I just get so depressed some days.  It’s the only way I feel that I am still alive…I feel so dead inside, you know what I mean?”

She did know what he meant, sadly to say, she did.






Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright April 20, 2017


Suicide Prevention Website


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Teen Depression Websiteoctober-2016-169

I wonder if this is how she felt…

Everyday is a constant struggle just to stay alive, nothing makes your happy, tired of trying to be happy, can’t imagine this dull pain inside your heart forever…with the hopelessness.

The feeling that you are all alone even though you know you have people who dearly love you.

There is help and you are not alone

The Jewels’ Angels Foundation, Inc.

Suicide Prevention Hotline:  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright 01.19.2017

Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow


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Excerpt from SNOW:

8th Grade Dance 006

The sun was beginning to set behind the grayish-blue, Sierra Mountains. The murmurs of the afternoon voices continued to echo in her ears.

It had been an eventful afternoon, but January was exhausted. She had waited twelve years for this day and now it had finally come and gone, as if in a blink.

“Congratulations Young Lady.” Her grandpa extended out his shaky hand, suffering from chronic arthritis for most of his adult life, but obviously proud of his only grandchild.

“Thank you, Grandpa. I’m so happy you and Grandma were able to make it.”

“We wouldn’t have missed your graduation from high school…not in a million years.”

January smiled, politely dismissing herself.

She was distracted. She hadn’t seen Jack since the ceremony ended, almost thirty minutes earlier.

As she wondered out to the parking lot, she heard a car’s brakes screeching. She held her breath, waiting in anticipation for the final part, the sound of metal as it crashed into another car, or the thud the car made as it hit something or someone. She waited with batted breath, but nothing.

She relaxed, letting her breath out. Suddenly out of nowhere she heard footsteps coming up behind her.

Startled, she turned around, ready to scream out…”Jack! what they hell! You scared me to death. Where have you been…”

She didn’t finish her sentence, as he pulled her roughly into him, passionately kissing her with all the desire and wanting he had building up inside of him.

“I love you baby…that’s all I wanted to tell you.” Quickly extending his arm forward, revealing the most gorgeous dozen red roses she had ever seen.

“Oh, Jack! They’re beautiful and so are you. I love you too…more than words!”

“You can prove it to me tonight. Now go home and get pretty for me. I’ll see you tonight at eight.”

January watched with a smile upon her lips, as he ran down the street, jumping back into his white 1967 Camaro, that he had left idling in the middle of the street, and took off in a hurry down Main Street.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 26, 2016



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Strength is the ability to never give up,
Hopelessness is the determination to do so.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright May 13, 2017



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Photography By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright 03/2017



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Faith to believe in something greater than who we are and where you are today.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright April 2017



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The Jewels Angels’ Foundation, Inc.

You’re not alone in this life’s journey.

Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright March 2017



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I’m driving home from a weekend in the Eastern Sierra Mountains. A place that has always brought me peace; except for recently, the peace has been replaced with the deepest sadness and despair.

Am I crying as I drive through the winding hills and valleys? I must be, although I don’t seem to notice much anymore, considering this an everyday occurrence.

Hopelessness washes over me as I fiddle with the iPod left behind, but has somehow become my security blanket into her mind.

Randomly the song changes from the Eagles to Blink 182, one of her favorite bands. It’s a song I have not heard, called Not Now. I intently listen to the lyrics… instantly mesmerized by them.

The song calls out to me…”God has a plan for you”
“I will be waiting”
“I wish I could give you one last kiss”

As the tears stream down my face, I look up to the mountains, covered with powdery, white snow and see a cross. As clear as day… a cross in the mountain formed from the melting snow.

At that moment a sense of comfort washes over me…she is always here with me and waiting for the day I will see her again.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright March 30, 2017


I’m re-blogging this one for you! The website for siblings dealing with the death of a sibling to suicide has been update.

Ask Ms Mandi


SISTERS 07.2015

When a child dies, especially to suicide and so young, everyone seems to focus on the parents, and their pain and sorrow, and especially the mother’s anguish.

However, sometimes there are siblings who are forgotten. They too have a special kind of loss.

She has lost their best friend.

Who will she share their future memories?

Who will she call late at night when she just needs someone there to listen to her and to laugh with her?

Who will be her Maid of Honor at her wedding?

Who will she call with the great news that she will be an aunt?

Who will she roll her eyes at during Thanksgiving dinner when annoying family members show up at the door?

Who will she talk to about “Remember when’s…”?

Who will she share her memories? And who will she create new memories?

This is especially hard when she is…

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