Excerpt from Manuscript: Julian’s Voice


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Ms Mandi Photo 1

Kate flew back to Brigham Young University the next week. Jeff continued to work long hours, as his mother’s health continued to deteriorate. Within the year, his mother died in her sleep, as the doctors told him that she had a weakened heart for years.

Jeff didn’t agree with the doctors, but respected their theories. He believed differently, since he had witnessed it himself. His mother had literally died in her sleep from a broken heart.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright 2015

Head Full of Lies


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April 28, 2017

She felt as though her days were limitless

Her heart ached, her soul empty

Longing for the once happy life, the sunshine that would make her smile

Laughter, bonding, memories, happiness

Distant, now it was all so distant

What happened?

Why did he take her?

Why did she take herself,

herself away from me?

Now there is little happiness

A simple smile is painful, but she does it anyway

Faking happiness, telling herself she is okay

Xanax numbs the pain,

Alcohol makes living okay,

But inside she is dead.




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His days were as low

as the bottom of the sea

Depressed, that’s that.


His words were unemotional,

unexpressive, unhappy

Not in his right mind.


His smile was weak,

skin pale like snow,

shaggy hair fallen in his face.


Couldn’t get out of bed,

not even to shower,

not even to eat.


That’s when I realized,

it wasn’t just a bad day he had-

it was never ending.


I guess I could say his days caught up to him,

cause now I’m reading the note he left me

saying “goodbye.”

Rest in Peace


13 yrs


Photography By:  JCW





Excerpt form Manuscript – Julian’s Voice


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Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

“Chris, don’t you dare hang up on me!  Are you there?  Damn it, he hung up…”

“No, I’m still here.”

“What are you going to do?  Are you going to tell your mom?”  She asked.

“Of course not.  She will freak.”

“But, how are you going to hide it?  Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to cut where anyone can see…especially not on your arms.”

“I know, I’ll just wear sweatshirts to school.”  Chris replied.

“But, Chris…it’s over a hundred degrees all week.  That will be obvious.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Why did you do it?”  Why did you start cutting again?  It’s been almost a year that you’ve been clean.”

“I don’t know…I just get so depressed some days.  It’s the only way I feel that I am still alive…I feel so dead inside, you know what I mean?”

She did know what he meant, sadly to say, she did.






Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright April 20, 2017


Suicide Prevention Website


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Teen Depression Websiteoctober-2016-169

I wonder if this is how she felt…

Everyday is a constant struggle just to stay alive, nothing makes your happy, tired of trying to be happy, can’t imagine this dull pain inside your heart forever…with the hopelessness.

The feeling that you are all alone even though you know you have people who dearly love you.

There is help and you are not alone

The Jewels’ Angels Foundation, Inc.

Suicide Prevention Hotline:  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright 01.19.2017

Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow


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Excerpt from SNOW:

8th Grade Dance 006

The sun was beginning to set behind the grayish-blue, Sierra Mountains. The murmurs of the afternoon voices continued to echo in her ears.

It had been an eventful afternoon, but January was exhausted. She had waited twelve years for this day and now it had finally come and gone, as if in a blink.

“Congratulations Young Lady.” Her grandpa extended out his shaky hand, suffering from chronic arthritis for most of his adult life, but obviously proud of his only grandchild.

“Thank you, Grandpa. I’m so happy you and Grandma were able to make it.”

“We wouldn’t have missed your graduation from high school…not in a million years.”

January smiled, politely dismissing herself.

She was distracted. She hadn’t seen Jack since the ceremony ended, almost thirty minutes earlier.

As she wondered out to the parking lot, she heard a car’s brakes screeching. She held her breath, waiting in anticipation for the final part, the sound of metal as it crashed into another car, or the thud the car made as it hit something or someone. She waited with batted breath, but nothing.

She relaxed, letting her breath out. Suddenly out of nowhere she heard footsteps coming up behind her.

Startled, she turned around, ready to scream out…”Jack! what they hell! You scared me to death. Where have you been…”

She didn’t finish her sentence, as he pulled her roughly into him, passionately kissing her with all the desire and wanting he had building up inside of him.

“I love you baby…that’s all I wanted to tell you.” Quickly extending his arm forward, revealing the most gorgeous dozen red roses she had ever seen.

“Oh, Jack! They’re beautiful and so are you. I love you too…more than words!”

“You can prove it to me tonight. Now go home and get pretty for me. I’ll see you tonight at eight.”

January watched with a smile upon her lips, as he ran down the street, jumping back into his white 1967 Camaro, that he had left idling in the middle of the street, and took off in a hurry down Main Street.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 26, 2016



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Strength is the ability to never give up,
Hopelessness is the determination to do so.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright May 13, 2017