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Monthly Archives: December 2011

Why Are Our Babies Being Born with Birth Defects

29 Thursday Dec 2011

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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lead paint, march of dimes

Research is constantly looking for cures for cancer and other diseases; as well as birth defects in babies born to healthy women. 

According to the March of Dimes, there are more than 4,000 different known birth defects, in respect to unborn children, ranging from minor to major in the Unites States. 

Out of that statistic, 150,000 babies are born with birth defects each year in the United States alone.  And of that 150,000 babies, 3 out of 100 babies are born in the United States with some sort of major birth defect. (http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/il/birth_defects.html)

Why are all these babies being born with some sort of birth defect?  The experts blame it on genetics, environmental, and / or unknown factors.  We cross off genetics and what are our causes?  Environmental or unknown factors?  What is “environmental” anyway?  “Environmental” has something to do with nature and its effects.  Could mean a pesticide that was administered to your local area at the exact time of your baby’s developmental growth.  An unknown chemical leak in your house.  Lead paint on your walls that you are unaware.  Or asbestos in your ceiling that you never knew was there. 

These are scary statistics.  Basically, if the birth defect is not related to “genetics”, then your unborn baby is susceptible to any sort of chemical or poison floating around in the environment.  These are uncertain elements that healthy women have no control over.  It is sad because most of these women will blame themselves in some silent way, but it is not the mother or the father’s fault.  However, who is to blame?  How can we prevent our unborn children from being a part of a “statistic”?  And why are our babies being born with birth defects if we as mothers are taking care of our bodies and our babies during our pregnancy? 

I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I will continue to research them to find out why are babies are being born with birth defects when we, as mothers, are taking care of our bodies during pregnancy and it is not genetic related. 

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

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Starting Over

27 Tuesday Dec 2011

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As I am finished with my packing, I look around the house, noticing how quiet it seems.  I have been packing the dishes and pictures, placing them into boxes for weeks now.  I haven’t noticed the silence in the house until all is packed and emptied, from the home we once shared and loved as a family.  

Our home is now vacant, like my heart.  It is hard to say goodbye.  However, it is time to move forward.  As one book closes, another begins.  I now realize that this chapter of my life has come to a close.  I have anticipation wondering what the next chapter will bring.  Life is like a book, you are sad to finish one, but apprehensive to begin another.  Will this book be as good as the last?  New beginnings are everywhere, embrace them with faith and an open heart.

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

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Remembering Our Grandparents at Christmas

24 Saturday Dec 2011

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This Christmas dinner I decided to do something special in remembrance to our grandparents.  My grandparents were always very special to me and played a vital role in my growing-up.  They have passed now, but there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of them.  They are forever in my memory as well in pictures and even in my baking.

So, this year I thought that we would make a Christmas dinner that would represent a piece of them and our heritage.  My grandmothers were from Wales and Norway.  My grandfathers were from England and Germany.  I decided to choose one traditional meals from each of the four countries. 

We are serving roast, a meat and sour kraut casserole with mashed potatoes, Brussel Sprouts sprinkled with bacon, and for dessert…. Rasberry Trifle.

Roast will represent my English heritage

The sour kraut casserole will represent my German heritage

Brussel Spouts sprinkled with bacon will represent my Norwegian heritage

And finally…. the raspberry trifle will represent my Welsh heritage.

Not only will this bring the memory of our loved ones to our tables on Christmas night, but it teaches our children the importance of who we are and where we came from and to be proud of their heritage.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

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A Memoir: The True Story of a Riverside County Housewife

19 Monday Dec 2011

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The alarm goes off at 6:30 am.  Too early, I ponder walking towards the bathroom mirror wondering what I will see…. did I get enough sleep?  Was two glasses of wine the night before one glass too many?

I dread the mirror while keeping the overhead lights off, using only the natural sunlight streaming in through the window.  I creep up on the mirror, squinting into the image. 

I am relieved to see that there is no puffiness around the eyes or any new facial lines.  I stumble down the stairs to get a few ice cubes anyway, wrapping them up into a wash cloth.  The cold compress works wonders, giving the skin a fresh, awake appearance.  I dab a little eye gel under the eye and with in minutes I look ready for the day.  I might add that it will be a long day for the Riverside County Housewife.

Written By:  AskMsMandi

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A Helping Hand

13 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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We all need a helping hand sometime in our lives.  We may not think so, but it is true.  Looking down our noses at others less fortunate than ourselves can be quite infuriating as well as unnecessary.  We never know when we may need a helping hand.  To walk a mile in someone elses’ shoes is an understatment.  In order to see the true value of another person’s life, desires, wants, and needs, you would need to fit into those shoes before walking the mile. 

We all have our own opinions, but to judge is unkind.  We can not say, “I will never be jobless”, or “I will never be homeless”.  We never know where life’s journey may take us, we hope it is in a better place, but it may not be.  Life is about lesson’s learned.  Keep your eyes and hearts open to others’ sufferings.  Help those less fortunate than yourself, for there are always less fortunate. Stay humble.

Written By:  Ms Mandi

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When Your Family Turns their Back on You

09 Friday Dec 2011

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Blood is thicker than water.  So they say, but is it really? 

Times are constantly changing.  As foreclosure rates increase, unemployment rates increase, and broken marriages increase, we are sure to experience many changes and challenges as a whole.  The once happy family is falling apart.  Let’s not go overboard thinking that this comment is targeted to everyone, but let’s face it, our family structure is in jeopardy.  When financial security crumbles, something happens, people shut down.  The once giving and optimistic person is now hording their money and feeling negative attitudes towards those less fortunate than they.  Only the one’s who are going through the tough times notices these subtle changes in their family and friends.  It was always thought to be that you could count on your family, but let’s be realistic.  The only person you can count on during this rough times is yourself, not your spouse, sister, brother, best friend, father, or even your mother.  The helping hand is gone.  Let’s wake up and see who is really important to us.  Once we swim our way back to the shore, climb out, dry off, and regain our composure, we will see who is left standing by our sides.  The people who went through the tough times with you are the ones you want to keep close to your heart.  The people who deserted during your tough times are the ones that you need to eliminate from your life.  The storm will pass and the sun will shine again, keep those worthy of your love close to you and say goodbye to those who left you during your time of need.

Wrtten By:  Ms Mandi

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Saying Goodbye to a Lost Love

07 Wednesday Dec 2011

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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It is never easy to say goodbye, especially when it is someone you love.  Love is kind.  Love is gentle.  Love never boasts or brags.  Love does not resent.  Love does not hurt.  And love is pure.  How many of us have found this kind of love?  If you have then you better hold on to it tightly and cherish it.  Love is not conditional.  When these qualities of love are lost, all the love between two people is lost for without these kind words, love is dead.  Don’t hang on to something or someone who is not there anymore.  Let them go by saying goodbye to a lost love.

Written By:  Ms. Mandi

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What is Domestic Violence?

03 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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Author:  Ask Ms Mandi

Domestic violence is a lot trickier than it appears.  We use to think of domestic violence as “physical”.  If someone you were in a relationship with hit you and left a mark, then it was justified as domestic violence.  Of course there are mild cases and extreme cases, but domestic violence comes in many forms and much more than “physical”.  Physical violence is apparent, you have a bruise or broken bone to show for it.  Mental and emotional abuse is less obvious, but just as hurtful and damaging to a person’s self-worth and self-esteem. 

The bottom line is that nobody deserves to be abused or a part of domestic violence.  The underlining factor is that the abuser must gain or keep control over the person that they are trying to control.  That may be in hitting them, putting them down, making them feel less of themselves, or controlling them.

Emotional and mental violence is quiet.  You don’t see it at first but over time the damage is revealed.  Low self-esteem, low self-worth, depression, and or anxiety take the place of the once happy individual.  They don’t know why they are feeling the way they are, but they don’t feel right.  These signs of abuse are often missed by others and often missed by the abused individual themselves.  Family members may see the warning signs, but others may not.  It is important to get out of an abusive relationship.  Most times, it does not get better, but worst. 

When does it get worst?  You may be living in an abusive relationship; your mate may control you by watching what you watch on television, reprimanding you like a child, putting you down by telling you that nobody else will love you but them, or talking you.  The abuse turns dangerous when you decide to leave them and the abuse gets more serious.  Their behavior may become erratic and unpredictable.  They may watch you when you are with other people.  They may tell you that nobody will put up with you and your ways.  They may tell you that they will never leave you.  Domestic violence gets worst when the abuser feels less and less under control as the abused gets more and more under control. 

Why do you stay with him or her when they are obviously controlling you?  It is my opinion that a lot of abused are co-dependent.  Simply put, they stay with their abuser because they feel like they can help them in some way to get better.  “If only I could love him/her more?  If only I was a better wife or husband.   If only I didn’t make him or her so mad”.  Do these statements sound familiar?  If they do, then you are a victim of domestic violence.  Don’t let the abuser trick you into believing that it is you fault.  It is not your fault, it is their way of manipulating you and your thinking.

Abuse comes in many forms.  There are hotline numbers to call if you feel like you are a victim of domestic violence.  Don’t take this lightly, the warning signs may be subtle, but they usually escalate once the abuser feels threatened. 

There are many of us out there, don’t think that you are alone in this.  You are not alone, reach out to someone and ask for help or form a support group.  I understand and have lived through domestic violence, reach out and get support. Post a comment on this site and who knows, we may have a support group of our own.

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