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~ A California Girl living in Montana

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Monthly Archives: October 2012

Excerpt from Dear Paxton

25 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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     Dear Paxton

Lisa grabbed the beer, placing it to her lips, swallowing the bitter liquid.  She had to concentrate, not to think about the distaste she had for the beer.  She sat down, letting out the loudest burp ever to escape her lips.

     “There!  I did it.”  She was really proud of her accomplishment.  Keith and Ricky seemed proud too, handing her another Miller Genuine Draft. 

     “Ricky, let me have a drag of your cigarette.”  Lisa took a hit.  He had that inquisitive look again.

     “What?”  She asked.

     “I didn’t know you smoked.”  He said taking a long drag.

     “I don’t.  But, I just feel like being on of the boys tonight.”  She sat back to relax.

     “Lisa, you are too cool.”  Keith was stunned.  Ricky tried to teach Lisa how to blow rings with the cigarette smoke.  She tried and tried, laughing out loud with the pure lucidity of the evening.

     “Shhhh…  Don’t laugh so loud.” 

     “Sorry, Keith.”  Lisa looked over at Ricky raising her eyebrows.  He rolled his eye, twirling his finger around in a circle next to his head.  Lisa couldn’t help but burst out laughing again.  She was feeling a little drunk.

     “Shhhh….” This only made her laugh harder until she could hardly breathe, breaking into an asthma attack.

     “Shhh… Quiet!  I don’t want the neighbors to call the cops.”  Keith was definitely paranoid.

     “Shut up Keith!  I can’t help it if I have to cough….. I have asthma.”  She started coughing uncontrollably again.

     “Shhhh…”

     “Keith, leave her alone.  She can’t help it if she has to cough.”  Ricky defended her.

     “I don’t want the cops to be called.  If you guys don’t be quiet, then leave.”  Keith was bugging her.

     “Don’t be so paranoid, Keith.”  Lisa lay back against the couch feeling the room spin under her.

     “I don’t feel too good.”  She said standing up.  “Where’s the bathroom?” 

     “Lisa, are you ok?”  Ricky took hold of her arm walking her over to the small, unsanitary bathroom in the back of the disarray bedroom.  Lisa didn’t care that the toilet smelled of urine, sitting down on the floor, resting her head on the cool toilet seat.  The coolness felt good on her clammy forehead.

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

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Girl You are Amazing

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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Tags

Friends, Girls, Hope, Lost, Love, Suicide, Tragedy

I normally write about others and their situations, but today I am going to write something raw. 

I drag myself out of bed at seven in the morning, only to stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, for longer than I originally planned.  It seems that some days are harder to get out of bed than other days and I am amazed that I even bother trying.  

I am starting to feel the fist signs of anxiety.  My stomach is churning into knots for some unknown reason.  Panic engulfs me.  I am scared.  I have gone through so much pain and change this past year and wonder how I can go on.  It would be so simple to just check out, but that is an impossible consideration.  I have people who love me and count on me.  I could not leave them behind to endure this life without me.  I am grateful for the people around me, who love me because there are so many others that want to take me down. 

As humans, we grow so attached to our possessions that we forget that our possessions mean nothing to the people who love us, if we were to check out.  Today, I broke down from the weeks’ stresses, wanting to give up, crying for all the unfairness that life has bestowed upon my family and I. 

Then my best friend, in the whole world, dropped what he was doing, to come over to my house.  Hearing his knock, I opened the door, as black tears streamed down my cheeks.  He said nothing, but walked into the foyer, pulling me into his arms, holding me while I cried.  He said that no material possession was more important than I am.  That without me, what importance would any material possession have to shine greater than me. 

When you are feeling lost and like you cannot go on, just remember that you can always buy a new house or car.  You can always get a new job, but you can never get another “YOU”. 

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

 

 

 

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Sorry for My Absence

02 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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Dear Readers,

I am sorry for my absence over these past two weeks.  I have read your posts and will be responding to them shortly.  I truly love reading every one of your posts and comments.

I have been extremely busy editing Dear Paxton for agent submittals.  Once I have completed editing, I will be returning to writing more consistent blogs and articles.

Thank you to all my readers:)

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

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