SNOW

SNOW

How long will Jack make me endure this suffering?  He knows that I hate it when he ignores me.  I sit here, holding our baby in my arms, wondering when he will come home and forgive me.  I know I should feel blessed with this life beside me, but all I can do is long for the days we use to have, when he loved me.  Why does love have to end?

True love is forever, they say, but they are wrong.  What is true love?  Why does it always seem as if love is lopsided.  You either love him or he loves you, it is never compatible, perhaps in the movies, but not in real life.

Happiness is so overrated.  All I long for is a little bit of peace.  What is happiness?  We think happiness is something that we all achieve and it will last forever; subsequently, it is only a mere glimpse of something that will be temporary.  Temporary, until it is gone and once again our hearts’ ache for its return.

Written By:  AskMsMandi

Copyright:  August 10, 2018

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Manuscript – SNOW

SNOW

Sitting on the park bench, feeling the wind blowing through my hair, I am stuck somewhere in my mind, between my surroundings and another time.  It now seems like a lifetime ago, and it even tricks me into believing it had never been my life at all.

There are days when my life seems as if it isn’t real, but as if I am a character, in a movie and I am watching it over and over again.  I don’t want to continue this madness, but what choice do I have, but to proceed with the events that are impossible to delay.

The memories will always come, I can’t deny them, for they were my life at one time.  I have lived them and they aren’t going away, no matter how much I wish them to, they are a part of me and I must find a way to embrace them.

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright:  April 30, 2018

Excerpt from Manuscript: Dear Paxton

Quickly, she turned on her heels, grabbing her purse while proceeding to slam the door harshly behind her on her way out and down the stairs.  Large crocodile tears spilled down her checks as she ran through the apartment complex desperately searching for her car.  She needed to get away, as for away as she could.  She knew he could find her if he wanted to and this she did not want.

He had crushed her heart beyond repair now.  Not only had he turned his back on her, but he had also turned his back on his own flesh and blood.  She loved this baby growing inside of her, but she knew she couldn’t raise it on her own.  She knew what she had to do, it wasn’t going to be easy, but she no longer had a choice of what she wanted anymore.  She had tried, fighting for her baby with all her might, but she had lost the battle.

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright 2002

DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS

DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS

This once million dollar home was destroyed in a storm.  Although we don’t always see the effects left behind by depression, this is what we look like on the inside of our minds.

We may not show our pain on the outside, but inside we are a mass of destruction, ready to crumple to the ground at any moment.  However, we are strong because we hold on for another day and another and another.

Just like this house.  We continue to stand strong; although, we are damaged.

NEVER GIVE UP!

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photography By:  JMW

Copyright January 20, 2018

EXCERPT FROM MANUSCRIPT – SNOW

SNOW

“Oh my God, Jack. I am so sorry.” January had no words.

“It’s okay. I’m over it now.”

“Over it! How can you say such a thing. What happened is just terribly horrible. I don’t know what I would do, if that happened to me.”

“January, you are a strong girl. You would get over it and move on.”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you would and just like me. I know I sound heartless, but there are only two ways to go in a situation like this, you can either not accept it and go insane or you can accept it and move on. I am not the insane one, he was. I can’t beat up on myself for his poor choices and his insanity.”

“Gosh Jack…I don’t know if I could be as brave as you. That’s a lot of stress for a kid, you know.”

“January, we are not kids. We may be only 17 years old, but we are both much older than our years and very wise.” He reached down, pulling her face up to his, softly kissing her sultry lips.

“I love you, do you know that…do you Jack?” At that moment, she realized actually how much she really loved this man.

“I know that, silly girl. I love you too. You are my hero!”

She smiled sadly, knowing she would always love him and would do anything for him… she knew she would even die for him, but she hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: JMW
Copyright August 24, 2016

THE JOURNEY

THE JOURNEY

The journey is always more important than the destination.

As humans, we rush to get here and there, but we need to slow down and enjoy the present moment.

However, sometimes the present moment is where our pain and suffering exists and therefore; we seek a future moment when we will be “happy”.

I guess the truth is in the belief that we can only truly be happy within ourselves.  We can not seek happiness from external circumstances, but from within.

How do we accomplish this “happiness”?

By adjusting our thought process and our view of our world.  Sometimes our perspective is distorted and we need to re-teach our minds to be less critical, especially to ourselves.

We are all beautiful in our own way…how boring would it be if we were all the same.

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright:  July 29, 2017

Excerpt from Manuscript – Dear Paxton

Excerpt from Dear Paxton
Patrick's Point Ebay 06.01.2016

The cold, long corridors, leading into the intensive care unit, smelled of death, deeply depressing Cole, as he silently fought the demons within himself. He stared, hopelessly down at her lifeless body. She lay there too peacefully, while tightly secured underneath the sterile, white hospital sheets.

He hadn’t slept since the ambulance had arrived days before, frantically working to keep her fragile body alive. Cole had been informed that she had almost died, leaving him alone to raise their daughter, but miraculously, she had come through. She was stabilized for now, but still in critical condition.

Cole got down on his hands and knees, saying a quick prayer, as the tears streamed down his face, wondering why she had done it.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi