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~ A California Girl living in Montana

Ask Ms Mandi

Category Archives: Authors of the Week

Day 2

Featured

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought, Two Girls & a Ranch

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I’m so excited, as we begin to ascend up into the mountains. When they said Montana was beautiful, they were not kidding. The abundance of mountain tops mixed in with the beautiful floral of oranges, reds, and yellow, as the Autumn trees begin their change from Summer into Fall. I think Autumn is my favorite time of year.

This is my first time camping in years. We have our sleeping bags, tents, knives, and plenty of food. I do believe we forgot our flashlights, but that is okay, we will have a fire to give us light. As we unpack our things, I comfortably settle into my sleeping bag, munching on a bag of potato chips.

I hear someone standing at the entrance on my tent, starring at me. It is my boyfriend. “Why are you starring at me like that?” I ask.

“Are you crazy? Why are you eating in our tent?” He’s scratching his head in bewilderment.

“Why not…what is the big deal.”

“Bears!” He exclaims. “Have you never camped in the wilderness before now?”

“Yes, many of times.” I tell him. We used to camp all the time in Big Bear.

Big Bear is a small, quaint ski town a few hours north of Southern California.

“We always ate in our tents. Actually, we would bring our food into our tents at night so that the raccoons won’t eat our food. Can you imagine how screwed we will be if the raccoons eat all our food…then we won’t have anything to eat tomorrow.”

I am sure that I am making complete sense. But by the look on his face, I don’t think I am making any sense to him. Maybe he hasn’t gone camping in awhile and needs a refresher course on the what not to do’s of camping 101.

He starts laughing. I’m confused.

“What?” I ask.

“Babe, we have bears and mountain lions here in Montana. We are not in California. Raccoons are not our worry. Our worry isn’t that an animal is going to eat our food, the worry is that they will eat us. We do not keep any food in our tents or in our cars or anywhere around our tent site.”

He laughs a huge bellowing laugh. “My god girl, what do they teach you out there in California?”

Now it’s my turn to scratch my head. I crawl out of my tent with my bag of potato chips, as we gather up all our food, including my three-hundred dollars worth of cosmetics and face creams…guess where? Yep, you got it, it is all getting tied up in the tree.

Damn, Montana sure takes their camping seriously.

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Montana Here We Come

13 Friday Nov 2020

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Two Girls & a Ranch

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Two girls and a ranch is moving to Montana! We’re packing our warm clothes and cowboy boots and heading out.

At times, I didn’t think our ranch was going to come to fruition, but I’m happy to say it is. I thought I had lost my way and my faith, but it has been restored.

What does faith mean to you? Faith, to me, means that there is something bigger out there, that we have no control over. It’s like driving the boat across the lake in the dark, without any headlights. You are being guided by faith, you don’t know what is out there in the dark, but you are lead by trust. You trust that you are being guided down the path that you are meant to go down.

And although it may be scary, you go anyway. Don’t let fear control you, as it has controlled me and the people closest to me. I want to trust life again.

Photograph & Written By: Jayne Wilkinson

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Manuscript – SNOW

30 Monday Apr 2018

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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SNOW

Sitting on the park bench, feeling the wind blowing through my hair, I am stuck somewhere in my mind, between my surroundings and another time.  It now seems like a lifetime ago, and it even tricks me into believing it had never been my life at all.

There are days when my life seems as if it isn’t real, but as if I am a character, in a movie and I am watching it over and over again.  I don’t want to continue this madness, but what choice do I have, but to proceed with the events that are impossible to delay.

The memories will always come, I can’t deny them, for they were my life at one time.  I have lived them and they aren’t going away, no matter how much I wish them to, they are a part of me and I must find a way to embrace them.

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright:  April 30, 2018

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Excerpt from Manuscript – The Revision of Julian’s Voice

14 Saturday Oct 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - Julian's Voice

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Excerpt from Manuscript – The Revision of Julian’s Voice

“Chris, don’t you dare hang up on me!  Are you there?  Damn it, he hung up…”

“No, I’m still here.”

“What are you going to do?  Are you going to tell your mom?”  She asked.

“Of course not.  She will freak.”

“But, how are you going to hide it?  Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to cut where anyone can see…especially not on your arms.”

“I know, I’ll just wear sweatshirts to school.”  Chris replied.

“But, Chris…it’s over a hundred degrees all week.  That will be obvious.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Why did you do it?”  Why did you start cutting again?  It’s been almost a year that you’ve been clean.”

“I don’t know…I just get so depressed some days.  It’s the only way I feel that I am still alive…I feel so dead inside, you know what I mean?”

She did know what he meant, sadly to say, she did.

 

THE JEWELS’ ANGELS FOUNDATION, INC.

A NON-PROFIT 

 

 

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright April 20, 2017

 

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EXCERPT FROM MANUSCRIPT – SNOW

27 Sunday Aug 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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Excerpt from Manuscript – SNOW

img_5842

Autumn, a time when the leaves change from green to yellow to orange and then red. The days are warm in the mornings, as the nights escaped into the most certain chill.

This time of year had always been January’s favorite. Moving to San Francisco had been his idea, but now that she had warmed up to it, she too loved the quaint city with all its undying charm.

Standing out on their balcony, with her faux-fur coat wrapped around her body, fighting to keep her warm, but desperately failing, she watched the city lights flicker in the distance. Jack seemed to be spending more and more time away from their home and from her.

She perniciously had too much time on her hands to think. She didn’t like when her mind drifted over to the darker side, but it had been hard not to lately.

She missed him so much that her heart ached. She knew in her heart that she was losing him, but she couldn’t compete with this. She had to let him go, but she didn’t know if she had the courage to do so.

She had always hated that stupid saying, “If you love someone set them free and if they are yours to keep, they will come back to you.”

“Dumb saying.” She thought, despairingly wiping away the tears.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: JCW
Copyright: October 12, 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

13 Sunday Aug 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - Julian's Voice

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice:

Ms Mandi Photo 1

The singing voice enveloped her, making her feel safe, peaceful and loved. Although, she was presently alone, she had an overwhelming feeling that she was not alone. She felt a presence around her and inside of her. She felt no sadness, no guilt, no regret, and no pain. She just felt comfort and peace.

She felt the cool, soft sand squashing in between her toes. It felt nice to be walking on the beach barefoot. The sun was set right overhead with its resonating reds, intensifying oranges, and cheery yellows. The early afternoon was cool, even though the sun was so bright

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright August 13, 2017

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A MONSTER UNDER MY BED

01 Saturday Jul 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

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Tags

Adolescence, Hope, Hopelessness, Suicide, Suicide Awareness, TEEN DEPRESSION, teenager

A Monster Under My Bed

Sometimes, as I sit in class, surrounded by other kids just like me, I close my eyes…letting my thoughts take me to a better a place.

A place where I can be myself and not pretend to be somebody I’m not. A place free of judgments. I like it here…I feel safe.

Suddenly, I’m startled out of my trance by the bell. My peers hurry out the door.

Slowly I drag myself out of my seat, grabbing my backpack, thinking… “I can do this…I can make it through another day.”

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright November 21, 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript: Julian’s Voice

28 Friday Apr 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - Julian's Voice

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Tags

Author, Books, Love, Manuscript, Relationship, The Jewels' Angels Foundation

Ms Mandi Photo 1

Kate flew back to Brigham Young University the next week. Jeff continued to work long hours, as his mother’s health continued to deteriorate. Within the year, his mother died in her sleep, as the doctors told him that she had a weakened heart for years.

Jeff didn’t agree with the doctors, but respected their theories. He believed differently, since he had witnessed it himself. His mother had literally died in her sleep from a broken heart.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright 2015

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Excerpt form Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

20 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - Julian's Voice

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Tags

Adolescence, Author, Awareness, Book, California, Cutting, DEATH VALLEY, Faith, Family, Help, Love, Manuscript, Non-profits, Parents, Photography, Suicide, Support Groups, TEEN DEPRESSION, The Jewels' Angels Foundation, Therapy

Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

“Chris, don’t you dare hang up on me!  Are you there?  Damn it, he hung up…”

“No, I’m still here.”

“What are you going to do?  Are you going to tell your mom?”  She asked.

“Of course not.  She will freak.”

“But, how are you going to hide it?  Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to cut where anyone can see…especially not on your arms.”

“I know, I’ll just wear sweatshirts to school.”  Chris replied.

“But, Chris…it’s over a hundred degrees all week.  That will be obvious.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Why did you do it?”  Why did you start cutting again?  It’s been almost a year that you’ve been clean.”

“I don’t know…I just get so depressed some days.  It’s the only way I feel that I am still alive…I feel so dead inside, you know what I mean?”

She did know what he meant, sadly to say, she did.

 

THE JEWELS’ ANGELS FOUNDATION, INC.

A NON-PROFIT 

 

 

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright April 20, 2017

 

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Suicide Prevention Website

16 Sunday Apr 2017

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Authors of the Week

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Author, Healing, Health, Hope, Mental Health, Published, TEEN DEPRESSION, Teen Suicide, Unpublished, Writer

Teen Depression Websiteoctober-2016-169

I wonder if this is how she felt…

Everyday is a constant struggle just to stay alive, nothing makes your happy, tired of trying to be happy, can’t imagine this dull pain inside your heart forever…with the hopelessness.

The feeling that you are all alone even though you know you have people who dearly love you.

There is help and you are not alone

The Jewels’ Angels Foundation, Inc.

Suicide Prevention Hotline:  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright 01.19.2017

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