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~ A California Girl living in Montana

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Tag Archives: Lost

Excerpt from Manuscript – A Ruby in the Rough

02 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - Julian's Voice

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Author, Death, Excerpt, Family, Lost, Published, Relationships, Unpublished, Writer

Excerpt from Manuscript – A Ruby in the Rough

Sitting at the piano bench in an elegant white dress, with her blonde hair freely cascading down her back, sat Jewels or was it Kate?

He rubbed his eyes, trying to regain his composure. He had surely thought he had seen a ghost.

Subsequently, when he refocused, he was certain it had been Jewels and not a ghost at all.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 28, 2013

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The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

03 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

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Author, Book, Diary, Jane Doe, Literary Agent, Lost, Love, Magazine, Make-up, Novel, party, Published, publishing house, Short-story, telegram, Writer

The Lost Diary of Jane Doe…

Photo_Chair_061513 001

As she sat in front of the full-length mirror, intently staring into it, but not really seeing anything, she glanced down at the telegram that now lay crumpled up on her lap.

She felt numb, as no tears came. She knew she should cry or scream or laugh, just something, but she couldn’t. All sense of any emotion had escaped her.

It was funny to her, but all she was concerned with, at that very moment, was that she didn’t mess up her mascara or her prettily made-up face. She had spent hours on her make-up, spending thousands of dollars on her beautifully crafted, red-velvet dress, and even more on the stupid party.

The party that was going on downstairs and which she should have been attending with the man of her dreams on her arm, but instead she was lost in her own thoughts and paralyzed to her chair, without any destination of leaving her white-oak vanity desk.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright: August 2016

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The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

31 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

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Agent, Author, Books, Goodbye, Lost, Love, Magazine, Marriage, Military, Novel, Published, Relationships, Short-Sales, Writer

The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

Ms Mandi Photo 1

She quickly pushed her self-doubt out of her mind. She knew she still loved him, time had no relevance with a love like they shared.

It hadn’t been love at first sight, but had grown out of the need to be protected and sheltered from the harsh elements of the world. He had been her hero from the beginning of their relationship. This was something he craved, something he needed, the need to be needed. And she had needed it too.

However, it was much simpler for her. She just loved him the way he was, with all his flaws and all. She didn’t care about his past, she didn’t care how much money he made, all she wanted from him was his heart, his honor, and his commitment to her and only her.

When they had said their goodbyes, she believed him when he told her he would come back to her. He had promised not to forget her. He had promised not to leave her behind, without him.

She had believed him. However, as each year past, without a letter or any communication, she had developed a horrible case of self-doubt. She was afraid he wasn’t coming back.

But she had been wrong. The dark cloud that had been following close behind her, had parted. The telegram had explained it all. He was coming home. He wasn’t lost or dead, he was alive and coming home to her.

Setting down her brush, she smiled into the mirror for the first time in five years.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photography Bye: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript – SNOW

29 Friday Jul 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW, Just a PERFECT Thought

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Tags

Addiction, Armani, Author, beautiful, Cocaine, Despair, doubt, Lost, Love, Magazine, Manuscript, Novel, Published, Short-story, snow, Writer

EXCERPT FROM MANUSCRIPT – SNOW

REDWOODS 07.29.2016

Reluctantly, she continued brushing her long blonde hair. She knew what was in store for her this evening. She had been anticipating this moment for some time. At first, she had been excited and vigorously her excitement had turned to a worrisome anxiety.

She smiled into the mirror, realizing she looked as perfect as a human-being could look. She had always been called beautiful, but she hadn’t seen it, not until this very moment.

Her eyes sparkled. Her skin was flawless. Her hair shinned under the dim lighting. The only thing missing was her smile. She tried smiling at herself, but what came back to her through her reflection was nothing more than a solace, grim, stare.

She thought to herself, “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if she had changed. She knew he had changed, but what if no longer loved her?”

She knew she would surely die of a broken heart, but seriously, who really did that.

“January, you are a silly girl, very silly indeed!”

It always amazed her how quickly her self-doubt appeared, even as she stood in front of the full-length mirror admiring her beautiful red-satin Armani dress.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 2016

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THE LOST DIARY OF JANE DOE

08 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Authors of the Week, The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Art, Artist, Author, Beach, Consciousness, Diary, Heart, Jane Doe, Lost, Mind, Photograph, Psychiatric, Published, Sadness, Unpublished, World, Writer

THE LOST DIARY OF JANE DOE:

Mt Whitney Labor Day 2014

Sometimes I sit on the beach watching the world go by,
wondering why I feel the emptiness I do.

Shouldn’t someone only feel sad if they had just cause to do so,
or does our mind play tricks on us.

Is there actually something out there that justifies such feelings,
sometimes I wonder.

Perhaps our conscious mind does not allow us to see all that we can see,
but our hearts can’t help but feel.

However, if there is no cause,
how sad would that leave us.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright: February 10, 1994

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

24 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Authors of the Week

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Tags

Abusive Relationships, Authors, Beaches, Blogging, California, Lost, Love, Sunrise, Travel

SNOW

Ms Mandi Photo 1

“Jack, why are you mad!”

“I’m not.”

The night was late, but January could slightly see the beginning of the sunrise peeking its way up and over the shoreline.

She loved this time of night, the beginning hours of a new day, but there was bad blood between she and Jack. She knew he was mad, but she didn’t care because she too was frustrated with him and his lack of character.

All she could think to do was to lay her head down on his shoulder, closing her eyes as they sped down the highway, at speeds over a hundred miles.

Sometimes, life felt as if it too were passing her by.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright: March 2016

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Going off to College…

16 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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Tags

Children, College, Growing up, Lost, Love, Mothers, University

Going off to College…

Ms Mandi Photo 1

I think one of the hardest things in life is leaving your child behind to begin a new life.

As mothers, we live and breathe our children. We nurture and protect them as infants, watching them as they take their first steps, walking them to their classroom in Kindergarten, going to their graduations, the prom, drivers’ education and watching them as they start their new lives at a University.

It seems as if life goes by in an instant. We know they are going to grow up, but time seems to speed up and they are grown before our very eyes. We are happy for them to start their new lives, but it is a bittersweet occasion. We spend eighteen years of our lives with them and in an instant, they are gone.

Can we really prepare ourselves for this? It has been six months now and I still wonder around the house, lost. Where did the years go? I ask myself this daily.

Enjoy each day and enjoy the moment because it goes too fast.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Dear Paxton

31 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - Dear Paxton

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Tags

Addict, Agents, Drugs, Hospitals, Lost, Love, Psychiatric, Publishers, Writers

Excerpt from Manuscript – Dear Paxton

Ms Mandi Photo 1

He noticed her looking at his arms. “Not a pretty site is it? I have been an addict for more than fifteen years now. This place…” He said, looking around the room, “is more like home to me. I come in and out of here all the time.” Lisa felt sorry for him.

He seemed like a very nice man and very intelligent. She wondered why he would mess up his life. He had a real problem, not her.

“I hate this place! There are so many crazy people in here. I don’t belong here!” She sobbed.

“Then why did you do it?” He looked seriously worried, pointing to her two bandaged wrists.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi

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Girl You are Amazing

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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Tags

Friends, Girls, Hope, Lost, Love, Suicide, Tragedy

I normally write about others and their situations, but today I am going to write something raw. 

I drag myself out of bed at seven in the morning, only to stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, for longer than I originally planned.  It seems that some days are harder to get out of bed than other days and I am amazed that I even bother trying.  

I am starting to feel the fist signs of anxiety.  My stomach is churning into knots for some unknown reason.  Panic engulfs me.  I am scared.  I have gone through so much pain and change this past year and wonder how I can go on.  It would be so simple to just check out, but that is an impossible consideration.  I have people who love me and count on me.  I could not leave them behind to endure this life without me.  I am grateful for the people around me, who love me because there are so many others that want to take me down. 

As humans, we grow so attached to our possessions that we forget that our possessions mean nothing to the people who love us, if we were to check out.  Today, I broke down from the weeks’ stresses, wanting to give up, crying for all the unfairness that life has bestowed upon my family and I. 

Then my best friend, in the whole world, dropped what he was doing, to come over to my house.  Hearing his knock, I opened the door, as black tears streamed down my cheeks.  He said nothing, but walked into the foyer, pulling me into his arms, holding me while I cried.  He said that no material possession was more important than I am.  That without me, what importance would any material possession have to shine greater than me. 

When you are feeling lost and like you cannot go on, just remember that you can always buy a new house or car.  You can always get a new job, but you can never get another “YOU”. 

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

 

 

 

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