The alarm goes off at 6:30 am.  Too early, I ponder walking towards the bathroom mirror wondering what I will see…. did I get enough sleep?  Was two glasses of wine the night before one glass too many?

I dread the mirror while keeping the overhead lights off, using only the natural sunlight streaming in through the window.  I creep up on the mirror, squinting into the image. 

I am relieved to see that there is no puffiness around the eyes or any new facial lines.  I stumble down the stairs to get a few ice cubes anyway, wrapping them up into a wash cloth.  The cold compress works wonders, giving the skin a fresh, awake appearance.  I dab a little eye gel under the eye and with in minutes I look ready for the day.  I might add that it will be a long day for the Riverside County Housewife.

Written By:  AskMsMandi

We all need a helping hand sometime in our lives.  We may not think so, but it is true.  Looking down our noses at others less fortunate than ourselves can be quite infuriating as well as unnecessary.  We never know when we may need a helping hand.  To walk a mile in someone elses’ shoes is an understatment.  In order to see the true value of another person’s life, desires, wants, and needs, you would need to fit into those shoes before walking the mile. 

We all have our own opinions, but to judge is unkind.  We can not say, “I will never be jobless”, or “I will never be homeless”.  We never know where life’s journey may take us, we hope it is in a better place, but it may not be.  Life is about lesson’s learned.  Keep your eyes and hearts open to others’ sufferings.  Help those less fortunate than yourself, for there are always less fortunate. Stay humble.

Written By:  Ms Mandi

Blood is thicker than water.  So they say, but is it really? 

Times are constantly changing.  As foreclosure rates increase, unemployment rates increase, and broken marriages increase, we are sure to experience many changes and challenges as a whole.  The once happy family is falling apart.  Let’s not go overboard thinking that this comment is targeted to everyone, but let’s face it, our family structure is in jeopardy.  When financial security crumbles, something happens, people shut down.  The once giving and optimistic person is now hording their money and feeling negative attitudes towards those less fortunate than they.  Only the one’s who are going through the tough times notices these subtle changes in their family and friends.  It was always thought to be that you could count on your family, but let’s be realistic.  The only person you can count on during this rough times is yourself, not your spouse, sister, brother, best friend, father, or even your mother.  The helping hand is gone.  Let’s wake up and see who is really important to us.  Once we swim our way back to the shore, climb out, dry off, and regain our composure, we will see who is left standing by our sides.  The people who went through the tough times with you are the ones you want to keep close to your heart.  The people who deserted during your tough times are the ones that you need to eliminate from your life.  The storm will pass and the sun will shine again, keep those worthy of your love close to you and say goodbye to those who left you during your time of need.

Wrtten By:  Ms Mandi

It is never easy to say goodbye, especially when it is someone you love.  Love is kind.  Love is gentle.  Love never boasts or brags.  Love does not resent.  Love does not hurt.  And love is pure.  How many of us have found this kind of love?  If you have then you better hold on to it tightly and cherish it.  Love is not conditional.  When these qualities of love are lost, all the love between two people is lost for without these kind words, love is dead.  Don’t hang on to something or someone who is not there anymore.  Let them go by saying goodbye to a lost love.

Written By:  Ms. Mandi

Author:  Ask Ms Mandi

Domestic violence is a lot trickier than it appears.  We use to think of domestic violence as “physical”.  If someone you were in a relationship with hit you and left a mark, then it was justified as domestic violence.  Of course there are mild cases and extreme cases, but domestic violence comes in many forms and much more than “physical”.  Physical violence is apparent, you have a bruise or broken bone to show for it.  Mental and emotional abuse is less obvious, but just as hurtful and damaging to a person’s self-worth and self-esteem. 

The bottom line is that nobody deserves to be abused or a part of domestic violence.  The underlining factor is that the abuser must gain or keep control over the person that they are trying to control.  That may be in hitting them, putting them down, making them feel less of themselves, or controlling them.

Emotional and mental violence is quiet.  You don’t see it at first but over time the damage is revealed.  Low self-esteem, low self-worth, depression, and or anxiety take the place of the once happy individual.  They don’t know why they are feeling the way they are, but they don’t feel right.  These signs of abuse are often missed by others and often missed by the abused individual themselves.  Family members may see the warning signs, but others may not.  It is important to get out of an abusive relationship.  Most times, it does not get better, but worst. 

When does it get worst?  You may be living in an abusive relationship; your mate may control you by watching what you watch on television, reprimanding you like a child, putting you down by telling you that nobody else will love you but them, or talking you.  The abuse turns dangerous when you decide to leave them and the abuse gets more serious.  Their behavior may become erratic and unpredictable.  They may watch you when you are with other people.  They may tell you that nobody will put up with you and your ways.  They may tell you that they will never leave you.  Domestic violence gets worst when the abuser feels less and less under control as the abused gets more and more under control. 

Why do you stay with him or her when they are obviously controlling you?  It is my opinion that a lot of abused are co-dependent.  Simply put, they stay with their abuser because they feel like they can help them in some way to get better.  “If only I could love him/her more?  If only I was a better wife or husband.   If only I didn’t make him or her so mad”.  Do these statements sound familiar?  If they do, then you are a victim of domestic violence.  Don’t let the abuser trick you into believing that it is you fault.  It is not your fault, it is their way of manipulating you and your thinking.

Abuse comes in many forms.  There are hotline numbers to call if you feel like you are a victim of domestic violence.  Don’t take this lightly, the warning signs may be subtle, but they usually escalate once the abuser feels threatened. 

There are many of us out there, don’t think that you are alone in this.  You are not alone, reach out to someone and ask for help or form a support group.  I understand and have lived through domestic violence, reach out and get support. Post a comment on this site and who knows, we may have a support group of our own.

Wishing everyone a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!

Remember to give thanks to all that you are thankful for and especially the people you love, for if you have love, you are truly blessed.