05 Friday May 2017
Posted in Photographs from Art Gallery
Tags
Awareness, California, Family, Friends, Patience, Photography, San Francisco, Suicide, Support Group, TEEN DEPRESSION, The Jewels' Angels Foundation
Patience is a virtue…so true.
Photography By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright May 2017
20 Thursday Apr 2017
Tags
Adolescence, Author, Awareness, Book, California, Cutting, DEATH VALLEY, Faith, Family, Help, Love, Manuscript, Non-profits, Parents, Photography, Suicide, Support Groups, TEEN DEPRESSION, The Jewels' Angels Foundation, Therapy
Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice
“Chris, don’t you dare hang up on me! Are you there? Damn it, he hung up…”
“No, I’m still here.”
“What are you going to do? Are you going to tell your mom?” She asked.
“Of course not. She will freak.”
“But, how are you going to hide it? Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to cut where anyone can see…especially not on your arms.”
“I know, I’ll just wear sweatshirts to school.” Chris replied.
“But, Chris…it’s over a hundred degrees all week. That will be obvious.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“Why did you do it?” Why did you start cutting again? It’s been almost a year that you’ve been clean.”
“I don’t know…I just get so depressed some days. It’s the only way I feel that I am still alive…I feel so dead inside, you know what I mean?”
She did know what he meant, sadly to say, she did.
THE JEWELS’ ANGELS FOUNDATION, INC.
A NON-PROFIT
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright April 20, 2017
10 Tuesday Jan 2017
Posted in POEMS By Jewels
Tags
Agents, Books, California, Children, Faith, Family, Hope, Love, Mothers, Novel, Published, Relationships, Writers
DEPRESSION IS NOT A CHOICE…
JCW
03/31/2016 – Seven Months and 26 days before she left this earth.
Depression is not a choice. When people ask what it feels like, I don’t even have to think.
It’s like you’re underwater drowning. You forget how to swim. You used to know how, but not anymore. You’re incapable of swimming, so you sink to the bottom of the pool.
Nobody knows you’re drowning. They just think you’re underwater. Casually swimming and you try to call for help, but nobody can hear you. Even if they could, you’ll be shamed.
Your voice is gone. Your mind is all dark. No more everyday happy thoughts and people should not just say, “I’m depressed.” when they’re feeling down because depression is feeling down everyday for months and years.
You’re in this sad box that is locked. You can’t escape. It’s become a part of you…you’re friend, that you don’t want. They will yell at you, scream at the top of their lungs. And you can try to get them to leave you alone, but they’re not going anywhere.
People will say it’s a phase and you wish it was, but it isn’t. You can’t just snap your fingers and be depression free. It takes a long time to recover.
Depression is not cute. It is not something you want. It is not a trend. It is an illness and a bad one too. Having depression is not a sad thought every once in a while, it is not cutting yourself and showing everybody.
Really, it’s about not being able to get out of bed to shower, eat, start your day. It’s staying up until two in the morning thinking about things because you believe you’re a failure and that’s what it will get you to think.
You will begin to know to yourself that you’re useless, and that nobody will want you.
Sad, huh? It’s in your head. Depression is a bad illness and when people compare people who have depression, that’s even worse. Like you can’t become depressed because your parents got a divorce, because somebody else’s parents were killed.
You can’t put a price on sadness and you’ll think, “Oh, God, please someone save me, anyone”, but the only person who could save you is yourself.
It will take a while too.
Do something you love, people will say. They clearly don’t understand that anything you do will not make you happy. You are sick…It isn’t a two-day thing, but I will not be shamed for my depression.
I will always have it in the back of my head, and even though it may make me want to give up, I will not. I will not give up when I have made it this far.
Don’t blame people who are trying hard to make it through their day. So in the end, you have to remember: Depression is not a choice.
-Jewels
21 Monday Nov 2016
Posted in Authors of the Week
Tags
Acceptance, Adolescence, Agents, Author, California, Coastal Living, high school, Huffington Post, Photographer, Published, Sunset Magazine, Teenagers, Travel, Vacation, Writer
A MONSTER UNDER MY BED
Sometimes, as I sit in class, surrounded by other kids just like me, I close my eyes…letting my thoughts take me to a better a place.
A place where I can be myself and not pretend to be somebody I’m not. A place free of judgments. I like it here…I feel safe.
Suddenly, I’m startled out of my trance by the bell. My peers hurry out the door.
Slowly I drag myself out of my seat, grabbing my backpack…I think, “It’s just another day as a high school teenager.”
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright November 21, 2016
14 Monday Nov 2016
Posted in Photographs from Art Gallery
Tags
Author, Bay City, Beach, California, Love, Northern Cal, Ocean, Photography, Published, San Francicso, Travel, Unpublished, Vacation, Writer
THE CITY OF ALL POSSIBILITIES
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
I fell in love with the city by the bay the first time I visited.
Walking up and down the streets, I felt at home.
The smells, the people, the architecture.
Simply unique.
The word eccentric?
Creativity flowing through the air, is a better description.
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright November 14, 2016
09 Wednesday Nov 2016
Posted in Excerpt from Manuscript - Dear Paxton
Tags
Abuse, Alabama Hills, Author, California, Domestic Violence, Love Stories, Photography, Published, Travel, Vacation, Writer
DEAR PAXTON
She feared him more than she could express.
She wasn’t going to tell him about her move. Perhaps, after she was safe and secure in her new home and far away from him.
Maybe, just maybe she would call him to relieve herself of any guilt she may be feeling towards him and about their relationship.
Fear gripped her heart as she shuttered with the thought of coming face to face with him again someday.
She prayed that day would never come, but her fears kept it alive, especially in her dreams.
For now, she would be safe and maybe he would soon forget her…
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright: August 2015
05 Saturday Nov 2016
Posted in Photographs from Art Gallery
Tags
Author, Beach, California, Coastal Living, Los Angeles, Photography, Southern California, Travel, Venice Beach, Writer
VENICE BEACH CALIFORNIA BOARDWALK
Venice Beach, CA…a place with such artistic movement.
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright January 1, 2016
02 Wednesday Nov 2016
Posted in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW
Tags
Abusive Relationships, Addiction, Author, Book, California, Cocaine, Crank, Crystal Meth, Eastern Sierra Mountains, Love, Manuscript, Marriage, Novel, Photographer, Published, Recovery, snow, Sunset Magazine, Travel, Unpublished, Writer
Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow
The wooden bench had turned out to be a bad idea, as the beginning of the first frost escalated the startling cold that was quickly creeping up and under her skin.
January didn’t seem to notice much, as she was lost in thought. She was annoyed with herself…more like in disbelief…how could she not have seen the signs.
She had loved this man for more than half her life, but somehow she had missed it.
Earlier that day she had spoken, on the phone, with an old friend…a friend who had brought it to her attention that Jack had been using throughout their life together. She knew that he smoked weed, but cocaine? Or as her friend had kindly put it, whatever drug was available that day.
She had always blamed the weed for his mood swings, his fits of anger, and his sudden outburst of violence. She herself had become co-dependent, wanting him to smoke so that he would be numb enough to be kind to her.
She had fallen into the vicious cycle of the poor pathetic wife who deserved what she had accepted. She despised women like this, but yet she had become the spitting image of just that.
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright November 2, 2016
26 Wednesday Oct 2016
Posted in Quote of the Day
Tags
California, Life, Mammoth Lakes, Photographer, Poems, Published, Rainbow Falls, Sunset Magazine, Travel, Unpublished, Vacation, Writer
RAINBOW FALLS – MAMMOTH LAKE CALIFORNIA
To live life, is to live in the present.
The past remains in our memories,
The future strives in our dreams,
But the present is our existence.
Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright October 26, 2016
23 Sunday Oct 2016
Posted in Photographs from Art Gallery
Tags
Author, California, Eastern Sierra Mountains, Owen's Valley, Photography, Published, Scenery, Travel, Unpublished, Vacation, Writer
Eastern California Mountains
Horseshoe Meadow in the Eastern Sierra Mountains. Beautiful scenery and only three-hours away from the city.
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright October 2016
