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Excerpt from Manuscript Snow

09 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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Addiction, Article, Author, Book, Break-ups, Co-dependent, Drugs, Healing, Love, Manuscript, Novel, Published, Relationships, snow, Therapy, Writer

SNOW

IMG_4487

Dear Diary:

Casually watching my foot steps leaving the softest of impressions in the sand, making me ponder over my life and the choices I had made. I had been called co-dependent before, but hadn’t fully understood the meaning behind it. Surely, I wasn’t the one with the problem. I wasn’t the addict.

I was normal, I had followed all the rules. I was a good girl, growing up in a well-to-do family in the suburbs, eating most my vegetables, attending church on Sundays, not talking back to my elders, graduating from high school and eventually graduating from college with honors and two Masters’ Degrees to show for all my hard work. I was the one following all the rules. I am not the one with the problem.

But, today my therapist told me a different ending. I was just like the addict, I was addicted to covering up for the addict. I was trying to save him. I loved him and to be honest with myself, I loved him more than I loved me. Just like an addict loves their drug of choice more than themselves, more than their wife, more than their mother, and more than their children. They would die for their addiction, just like I would have died for you.

But I’m not the addict, you are.

January set down her pen, reaching for the box of tissues, as the tears streamed down her face. Today had been one of the hardest days of her life and probably ever to come again. She had to say good-bye to Jack, he would kill her if she let him. He was drowning and pulling her down into the current with him.

But she was a survivor, she was stronger than he. She had the will to fight and gain back the control she had relinquished on the day she had accepted his drug addiction, thinking she could save him and not knowing she couldn’t, but no more. She wanted to live and she knew now that she must face these demons on her own and without Jack.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 9, 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

29 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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Addiction, Author, Book, California, Cocaine, Love, Manuscript, Novel, Outdoor Photographer, Photography, Recovery, Rehab, Relationships, San Diego, snow, Whaley House, Writer

Excerpt from SNOW

photo (9)

He was waiting for her, as she pulled up. She pretended not to notice him sitting on the grass in front of her apartment, but she felt his gaze burning a hole through her soul.

She thought if she looked down, playing with the callous on the palm of her hand, he would get bored and look away, but when she raised her head, peeking up and over her lashes, she caught his intent stare.

His eyes were black…black as the night.

She knew he was mad, but she didn’t care, well maybe a little, but not really. What the hell did he have to be mad with her anyway. She was the one who should be mad.

After all, he was the one who had broken up with her. Maybe she had broken up with him, but he had deserved it. He was going down a path she didn’t approve, nor did she wish to partake.

“Did you think I would just go away?”

“Jack, I’m too tired to deal with this right now, besides your high.”

“Damn it January. You always say that, but I’m not. I quit using, just like you asked me to.”

“That’s bullshit, Jack and you know it! And the least you can do is to tell the truth, for once in your life.”

“Maybe, I just did a little.”

“Exactly! Like I said, goodnight Jack.” She ran up the stairs, quickly looking down at him. She didn’t want him to see her tears, but it was too late.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright June 29, 2016

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PALM SPRINGS, CA

22 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Photographs from Art Gallery

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Architecture, Author, Aviance, Book, California, Design, Mystery, Novel, Palm Springs, Photograph, Photography, Poem, Published Authors, Sunset Magazine, Travel, Vacation, Writers

PALM SPRINGS, CA

palm-springs-hotel_1115111.jpg

When I took this picture, I was somewhat spooked by this place. The photo is processed as a black and white, but the true image of this hotel was a sanitary green.

I remember walking down the street with my camera in tow, hanging from my neck, and being mystified when I came upon this mysterious residence. Something about it captivated my interest. I felt compelled to photograph it. It was almost as if the hotel was speaking to me.

I stood there for a few minutes, looking around, noticing the vacancy of the windows, the sadness of the structure, and the beauty of the architecture. I suddenly wanted to be a visitor there and it made me wonder, almost feel sad, who had visited this structure in the past. What stories did it hold?

I continued to stare into the empty windows, almost seeing those who had been inside long ago. Were there ghosts? Did something tragic happen inside? Or did it only hold happy memories of long ago vacations with children running up and down the halls, searching for a game to play, or perhaps a poolside cabana with their parents, to sit and read, while resting from a long week’s work in the city.

We will never know, nor will we ever be able to visit again. The hotel, along with the other structures on that street, in Palm Springs, have since been torn down. All we have now are memories and the photographs that have once captured the hotel’s ambiance and mystery.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright June 22, 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

01 Wednesday Jun 2016

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Addiction, Authors, Betrayal, Black, Blogging, Books, Boyfriends, Break-ups, Broken, Cocaine, Denial, Drugs, Love, Novel, Relationships, Travel, Writers

Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

Jewels & Bowz 3 - 05.30.2016

The girl who was wearing all black was staring at her. She didn’t want to look over at her, but she could feel the heaviness of her glare boring down on her. She sensed the girl was trying to get her attention, but January was lost in between the lyrics of the band screaming from the radio and the shouting she heard in the other room.

She decided to look her way, “Do you know when they will be out of the bedroom?”

“Who knows. They made a big score tonight…could be a while.”

“A score?” January didn’t know what this girl was talking about.

“Speed, of course.” The girl casually replied.

January was shocked. “Did you see Jack go into the room. He must have gone out for more beer.”

“Jack is the cute guy with longish, shoulder length hair and black eye-liner?”

“Yes, he’s my boyfriend, but he doesn’t use drugs, so I’m sure he must have slipped out when I didn’t notice.”

“No, he’s in there. I saw him and the tall, skinny guy go in together.”

The room started to spin…January wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the loud music or the distaste of her dinner rising up and into her throat, but she felt as if she was going to be sick.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright June 1, 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

26 Thursday May 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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Addiction, Author, Books, cookies, Excerpt, January, Magazine, Manuscript, New York, Novel, Novella, Relationships, Seasons, snow, tea, Time, Travel, Winter, Writer

EXCERPT FROM SNOW

photo (6)

The days were slowing down, giving her a chance to ponder, as her mind wandered back to a happier time. Realizing she was alone, not just in the moment, but really alone.

She felt lost, wondering where everyone had gone.

She remembered the joyous days, as her girl’s laughter echoed through their home. She was teaching Bella how to bake Snickerdoodle cookies, they had been her favorite as a young girl and now they were Bella’s favorite too.

But now, as she slowly sipped on her peppermint tea, gently swirling the cream around in the cup, she had nobody to sit around with and laugh. Time was going faster, but had also seemed to stop.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright May 26, 2016

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EXCERPT FROM MANUSCRIPT – SNOW

15 Sunday May 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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Abusive Relationships, Addiction, Author, Book, Excerpt, Mandi, Manuscript, Novel, Photograph, Relataionship, snow, Writer, Written

EXCERPT FROM MANUSCRIPT – SNOW

042

Jack eagerly pulled January up and onto his lap. She straddled him, wrapping her arms around his neck, freely and passionately kissing him, taking him in…with every breath, the scent of him, the touch of his face, as her hand gently touched his hair and cheeks, his mouth.

“I will do my best to never hurt you. You are so beautiful, in every way.”

January smiled.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright May 15, 2016

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

20 Wednesday Apr 2016

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Excerpt from Manuscript - SNOW

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Abuse, Agents, Author, Books, Cocaine, Drugs, Editor, Faith, Fiction, Hope, Journey, Love, Novel, Painting, Poetry, snow, Tree

SNOW

Jewels' Painting 04.16.2016

Slowly day by day your fairy tale turns into a nightmare. And what is left of you is an empty, shallow shell…a non-existent person that he couldn’t love and no one will love again.

Like I said…I could be married like my girlfriends, but I made the choice to leave…I made the choice to fight…I made the choice to survive and to live again.

That’s the problem, you see, and the hardest part…the part that I could have it all back again; the horror, the fights, and the abuse, but I just couldn’t live like that and I want to live.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Oil Painting By: JCW
Copyright April 2016

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The End…

19 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Ask Ms Mandi in Just a PERFECT Thought

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Tags

Authors, Endings, Manuscript, Novel, Writers

The End.  What does this simple sentence mean to a writer?  It can mean many things, opportunity, a successful completion, sorrow, or new beginnings.

The End, the completion of Julia’s Voice.  I’m proud and happy, but it is kind of like the same sort of feeling when you finish reading a really good novel.  The characters that have come to be a part of your life have left, it’s the ending of a story.  You ask yourself, “Now what do I do?”  You were connected to something and now you feel a sense of “sorrow?”

Until I start and finish my next novel…….The End

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

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