Tag Archives: Therapy

Excerpt form Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

20 Thursday Apr 2017

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Excerpt from Manuscript – Julian’s Voice

“Chris, don’t you dare hang up on me!  Are you there?  Damn it, he hung up…”

“No, I’m still here.”

“What are you going to do?  Are you going to tell your mom?”  She asked.

“Of course not.  She will freak.”

“But, how are you going to hide it?  Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to cut where anyone can see…especially not on your arms.”

“I know, I’ll just wear sweatshirts to school.”  Chris replied.

“But, Chris…it’s over a hundred degrees all week.  That will be obvious.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Why did you do it?”  Why did you start cutting again?  It’s been almost a year that you’ve been clean.”

“I don’t know…I just get so depressed some days.  It’s the only way I feel that I am still alive…I feel so dead inside, you know what I mean?”

She did know what he meant, sadly to say, she did.

 

THE JEWELS’ ANGELS FOUNDATION, INC.

A NON-PROFIT 

 

 

Written By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Photograph By:  Ask Ms Mandi

Copyright April 20, 2017

 

STRENGTH

13 Thursday Apr 2017

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STRENGTH
THE JEWELS’ ANGELS FOUNDATION, INC.

Strength is the ability to never give up,
Hopelessness is the determination to do so.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright May 13, 2017

REALISTIC

20 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by in Poems

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REALISTIC

I spend time in your room,
I look at your photographs,
I listen to your videos,
I read your poetry,
but I don’t feel that you were real.

I see you,
I know you were real,
I can still smell you,
I know you are with me,
but I don’t feel you.

Perhaps it’s my mind’s way of protecting me from what’s real,
I don’t want to believe you’re gone,
I don’t want to put your things away,
Perhaps, if I just pretend you were real, you will not go away,
I think not.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: JCW

Copyright: March 20, 2017

FIREWORKS

02 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in POEMS By Jewels

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Poem By: Jewels

03-02-2017

Firework
JCW
02/08/16

Life is just like a firework
it soars and screams
Upward it flies
The upward journey
is loud and significant
Life is like a firework
The rocket then pops
and sparks.
It is the climax
And then the colors disappear
Into NOTHINGNESS.
Life is like a firework.

NINE LIVES – JCW

29 Sunday Jan 2017

Posted by in POEMS By Jewels

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NINE LIVES

nine-lives-jcw-02-19-2016

I just found this poem Jewels wrote, she wrote last February 2016. I think it’s probably one of the saddest of them all, but such a great insight into the mind of someone suffering from depression:

JCW
02/19/16

NINE LIVES

One:
Full of happiness
Giggles and laughter
Innocence is not lost

Two:
A new friend today
I am still young
Pure like clouds

Three:
Adolescence
Not all is happy
My smile is still big

Four:
You fill me with joy
Pure joy
I am happy

Five:
Gone, just like that.
I’m so confused-
Why am I getting so many chances?

Six:
Torn, ripped
Broken and bruised
Innocence is lost

Seven:
Happiness is gone
Let me give up
I’m so, so tired.

Eight:
Shaking, like I’m freezing
Can’t do this much longer.
Why’s life unfair?

Nine:
Damaged.
Nothing but bad memories.
I miss life one.

FINALLY, I AM DEAD.

Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

24 Wednesday Aug 2016

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SNOW

IMG_4798

“Oh my God, Jack. I am so sorry.” January had no words.

“It’s okay. I’m over it now.”

“Over it! How can you say such a thing. What happened is just terribly horrible. I don’t know what I would do, if that happened to me.”

“January, you are a strong girl. You would get over it and move on.”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you would and just like me. I know I sound heartless, but there are only two ways to go in a situation like this, you can either not accept it and go insane or you can accept it and move on. I am not the insane one, he was. I can’t beat up on myself for his poor choices and his insanity.”

“Gosh Jack…I don’t know if I could be as brave as you. That’s a lot of stress for a kid, you know.”

“January, we are not kids. We may be only 17 years old, but we are both much older than our years and very wise.” He reached down, pulling her face up to his, softly kissing her sultry lips.

“I love you, do you know that…do you Jack?” At that moment, she realized actually how much she really loved this man.

“I know that, silly girl. I love you too. You are my hero!”

She smiled sadly, knowing she would always love him and would do anything for him… she knew she would even die for him, but she hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: PMW
Copyright August 24, 2016

Excerpt from Manuscript Snow

09 Saturday Jul 2016

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SNOW

IMG_4487

Dear Diary:

Casually watching my foot steps leaving the softest of impressions in the sand, making me ponder over my life and the choices I had made. I had been called co-dependent before, but hadn’t fully understood the meaning behind it. Surely, I wasn’t the one with the problem. I wasn’t the addict.

I was normal, I had followed all the rules. I was a good girl, growing up in a well-to-do family in the suburbs, eating most my vegetables, attending church on Sundays, not talking back to my elders, graduating from high school and eventually graduating from college with honors and two Masters’ Degrees to show for all my hard work. I was the one following all the rules. I am not the one with the problem.

But, today my therapist told me a different ending. I was just like the addict, I was addicted to covering up for the addict. I was trying to save him. I loved him and to be honest with myself, I loved him more than I loved me. Just like an addict loves their drug of choice more than themselves, more than their wife, more than their mother, and more than their children. They would die for their addiction, just like I would have died for you.

But I’m not the addict, you are.

January set down her pen, reaching for the box of tissues, as the tears streamed down her face. Today had been one of the hardest days of her life and probably ever to come again. She had to say good-bye to Jack, he would kill her if she let him. He was drowning and pulling her down into the current with him.

But she was a survivor, she was stronger than he. She had the will to fight and gain back the control she had relinquished on the day she had accepted his drug addiction, thinking she could save him and not knowing she couldn’t, but no more. She wanted to live and she knew now that she must face these demons on her own and without Jack.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 9, 2016