The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

31 Sunday Jul 2016

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The Lost Diary of Jane Doe

Ms Mandi Photo 1

She quickly pushed her self-doubt out of her mind. She knew she still loved him, time had no relevance with a love like they shared.

It hadn’t been love at first sight, but had grown out of the need to be protected and sheltered from the harsh elements of the world. He had been her hero from the beginning of their relationship. This was something he craved, something he needed, the need to be needed. And she had needed it too.

However, it was much simpler for her. She just loved him the way he was, with all his flaws and all. She didn’t care about his past, she didn’t care how much money he made, all she wanted from him was his heart, his honor, and his commitment to her and only her.

When they had said their goodbyes, she believed him when he told her he would come back to her. He had promised not to forget her. He had promised not to leave her behind, without him.

She had believed him. However, as each year past, without a letter or any communication, she had developed a horrible case of self-doubt. She was afraid he wasn’t coming back.

But she had been wrong. The dark cloud that had been following close behind her, had parted. The telegram had explained it all. He was coming home. He wasn’t lost or dead, he was alive and coming home to her.

Setting down her brush, she smiled into the mirror for the first time in five years.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photography Bye: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 2016

Excerpt from Manuscript – SNOW

29 Friday Jul 2016

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EXCERPT FROM MANUSCRIPT – SNOW

REDWOODS 07.29.2016

Reluctantly, she continued brushing her long blonde hair. She knew what was in store for her this evening. She had been anticipating this moment for some time. At first, she had been excited and vigorously her excitement had turned to a worrisome anxiety.

She smiled into the mirror, realizing she looked as perfect as a human-being could look. She had always been called beautiful, but she hadn’t seen it, not until this very moment.

Her eyes sparkled. Her skin was flawless. Her hair shinned under the dim lighting. The only thing missing was her smile. She tried smiling at herself, but what came back to her through her reflection was nothing more than a solace, grim, stare.

She thought to herself, “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if she had changed. She knew he had changed, but what if no longer loved her?”

She knew she would surely die of a broken heart, but seriously, who really did that.

“January, you are a silly girl, very silly indeed!”

It always amazed her how quickly her self-doubt appeared, even as she stood in front of the full-length mirror admiring her beautiful red-satin Armani dress.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 2016

My Tears Fall…

27 Wednesday Jul 2016

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My Tears Fall…

SISTERS 07.2015

When you trip,
my tears fall.

When you hurt,
my tears fall.

When you cry,
my tears fall.

When you scream out for help,
my tears fall.

When you want to end it all,
my tears fall.

When you don’t understand,
my tears fall.

When you reach out to me,
I shed no more tears and hold you close to my heart.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi

AZALEA STATE RESERVE – HUMBOLDT COUNTY

13 Wednesday Jul 2016

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Azalea State Reserve – Humboldt County

07.13.2016

The time has come for our yearly trip up the coasts of California. Once again we are heading to the beautiful county of Humboldt, where this majestic forest of Redwoods live, called Azalea State Reserve at the Redwood National Forest.

Most of the time the camera lens captures the beauty of the image, but nothing can compare to the eye when walking through the grandeur of the Redwood forest.

It’s a place that must be on your bucket list, at least once. Or if you are like me, you can’t get enough of the tranquility and continue to visit each year, craving the nature and beaches more and more with each visit.

Come see Northern California for its beauty and stay for your peace of mind.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 13, 2016

Excerpt from Manuscript Snow

09 Saturday Jul 2016

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SNOW

IMG_4487

Dear Diary:

Casually watching my foot steps leaving the softest of impressions in the sand, making me ponder over my life and the choices I had made. I had been called co-dependent before, but hadn’t fully understood the meaning behind it. Surely, I wasn’t the one with the problem. I wasn’t the addict.

I was normal, I had followed all the rules. I was a good girl, growing up in a well-to-do family in the suburbs, eating most my vegetables, attending church on Sundays, not talking back to my elders, graduating from high school and eventually graduating from college with honors and two Masters’ Degrees to show for all my hard work. I was the one following all the rules. I am not the one with the problem.

But, today my therapist told me a different ending. I was just like the addict, I was addicted to covering up for the addict. I was trying to save him. I loved him and to be honest with myself, I loved him more than I loved me. Just like an addict loves their drug of choice more than themselves, more than their wife, more than their mother, and more than their children. They would die for their addiction, just like I would have died for you.

But I’m not the addict, you are.

January set down her pen, reaching for the box of tissues, as the tears streamed down her face. Today had been one of the hardest days of her life and probably ever to come again. She had to say good-bye to Jack, he would kill her if she let him. He was drowning and pulling her down into the current with him.

But she was a survivor, she was stronger than he. She had the will to fight and gain back the control she had relinquished on the day she had accepted his drug addiction, thinking she could save him and not knowing she couldn’t, but no more. She wanted to live and she knew now that she must face these demons on her own and without Jack.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 9, 2016

CHILDHOOD GAMES

05 Tuesday Jul 2016

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“childhood games”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

6/1/16

rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

rock:
weigh your life down
a sad dark stone, crushing

paper:
to drain your thoughts on
making you empty

scissors:
sharp, dangerous
cut your life non-existent

shoot:
the bullet goes through my heart
what I say when I wake up alive

-jcw “childhood games”
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi

Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

29 Wednesday Jun 2016

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Excerpt from SNOW

photo (9)

He was waiting for her, as she pulled up. She pretended not to notice him sitting on the grass in front of her apartment, but she felt his gaze burning a hole through her soul.

She thought if she looked down, playing with the callous on the palm of her hand, he would get bored and look away, but when she raised her head, peeking up and over her lashes, she caught his intent stare.

His eyes were black…black as the night.

She knew he was mad, but she didn’t care, well maybe a little, but not really. What the hell did he have to be mad with her anyway. She was the one who should be mad.

After all, he was the one who had broken up with her. Maybe she had broken up with him, but he had deserved it. He was going down a path she didn’t approve, nor did she wish to partake.

“Did you think I would just go away?”

“Jack, I’m too tired to deal with this right now, besides your high.”

“Damn it January. You always say that, but I’m not. I quit using, just like you asked me to.”

“That’s bullshit, Jack and you know it! And the least you can do is to tell the truth, for once in your life.”

“Maybe, I just did a little.”

“Exactly! Like I said, goodnight Jack.” She ran up the stairs, quickly looking down at him. She didn’t want him to see her tears, but it was too late.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright June 29, 2016

Excerpt from Manuscript – Snow

26 Sunday Jun 2016

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Excerpt from SNOW:

8th Grade Dance 006

The sun was beginning to set behind the grayish-blue, Sierra Mountains. The murmurs of the afternoon voices continued to echo in her ears.

It had been an eventful afternoon, but January was exhausted. She had waited twelve years for this day and now it had finally come and gone, as if in a blink.

“Congratulations Young Lady.” Her grandpa extended out his shaky hand, suffering from chronic arthritis for most of his adult life, but obviously proud of his only grandchild.

“Thank you, Grandpa. I’m so happy you and Grandma were able to make it.”

“We wouldn’t have missed your graduation from high school…not in a million years.”

January smiled, politely dismissing herself.

She was distracted. She hadn’t seen Jack since the ceremony ended, almost thirty minutes earlier.

As she wondered out to the parking lot, she heard a car’s brakes screeching. She held her breath, waiting in anticipation for the final part, the sound of metal as it crashed into another car, or the thud the car made as it hit something or someone. She waited with batted breath, but nothing.

She relaxed, letting her breath out. Suddenly out of nowhere she heard footsteps coming up behind her.

Startled, she turned around, ready to scream out…”Jack! what they hell! You scared me to death. Where have you been…”

She didn’t finish her sentence, as he pulled her roughly into him, passionately kissing her with all the desire and wanting he had building up inside of him.

“I love you baby…that’s all I wanted to tell you.” Quickly extending his arm forward, revealing the most gorgeous dozen red roses she had ever seen.

“Oh, Jack! They’re beautiful and so are you. I love you too…more than words!”

“You can prove it to me tonight. Now go home and get pretty for me. I’ll see you tonight at eight.”

January watched with a smile upon her lips, as he ran down the street, jumping back into his white 1967 Camaro, that he had left idling in the middle of the street, and took off in a hurry down Main Street.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright July 26, 2016

PALM SPRINGS, CA

22 Wednesday Jun 2016

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PALM SPRINGS, CA

palm-springs-hotel_1115111.jpg

When I took this picture, I was somewhat spooked by this place. The photo is processed as a black and white, but the true image of this hotel was a sanitary green.

I remember walking down the street with my camera in tow, hanging from my neck, and being mystified when I came upon this mysterious residence. Something about it captivated my interest. I felt compelled to photograph it. It was almost as if the hotel was speaking to me.

I stood there for a few minutes, looking around, noticing the vacancy of the windows, the sadness of the structure, and the beauty of the architecture. I suddenly wanted to be a visitor there and it made me wonder, almost feel sad, who had visited this structure in the past. What stories did it hold?

I continued to stare into the empty windows, almost seeing those who had been inside long ago. Were there ghosts? Did something tragic happen inside? Or did it only hold happy memories of long ago vacations with children running up and down the halls, searching for a game to play, or perhaps a poolside cabana with their parents, to sit and read, while resting from a long week’s work in the city.

We will never know, nor will we ever be able to visit again. The hotel, along with the other structures on that street, in Palm Springs, have since been torn down. All we have now are memories and the photographs that have once captured the hotel’s ambiance and mystery.

Written By: Ask Ms Mandi
Photograph By: Ask Ms Mandi
Copyright June 22, 2016

Submitting Your Manuscript to the Big 5 US Publishers

20 Monday Jun 2016

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Some great information!

Milly Rogers's avatarMilly Rogers Author

Here’s a list of the Big 5 US Publishing Houses, their submission requirements and links to submission details. I’ve also included at the end of the list two smaller US Publishers that I have submitted to in the past (received real feedback!) I thought they would serve as good examples of what’s out there if you decide to try the smaller publishers.

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